I   Q U I T

i think....

ben

im back from h i a t u s. twas grounded from the comuter....actually i still am for a day or so, but im being a sneak.

i spent the majority of the past few days with my pals. it was relatively above average.

the past few days with my parents has been hell......yes theyre making one last attempt at trying to keep a family or whatever.....my brother is going but not me cuz they truly dont like me. no, i dont get the house to myself. no crazy parties will be had. im staying with my grandparents.

i didnt expect to get so many comments about my poem...i thought everone would just kinda skip that part and not realy read it....should i put another on?

<3 ben

 much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks...

so today i was told i can bust moves like a black girl. is this a good thing?

dont laugh guys. i wrote a poem. ive been getting into poetry the past few months, but this is the first one i ever wrote.....

dodging those bullets you call eyes, you know my evasion all too well

                               laughing when i cry, you live to see me die

                            slap me with your stare, kick me with your words

                                      my emotions are a punching bag

                                       wonders what it does for your ego

                         drain my soul some more, the only time i get to soar

                                    you shoot me with those eyes of yours

    one word away from destruction......my fate is in your loathing palms

                                         one final beating to my feelings

                                                 boost your insecurity

                                              this was a verbal massacre

ok so it sucks. deal with it. i promised my poem buddy ALYSSA id put one on here soon.

your mom reads my poems.

leave those comments that i adore ever so much....

<3 ben

p.s. comment my best friends.....katie and brian ....cuz they dont get any

ill be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake...

sorry for the brieft hiatus, but for the past few days, ive had a life! aka i wasnt grounded. i spent the whole weekend at my friend mike's house. we went to this luxurious place called ashberry's and i saw brian there....its a coffe house, NUFF SAID.

i could fill you in on the rest of my gangsterfied weekend...but i dont wish to bore you.

im still deciding between my mom and my dad....but the past few days have sort of taken my mind of everything.....i wish life was always so carefree

I HATE MYSPACE. words cannot express. goddammit its so gay. its semi-cool if its for a band.....cuz then you could listen to everything and what not. but aside from that, its extremely superficial ...solely based on looks.

from a gangster girls xanga "pRoP iT LiKe ItZ HoTt".......she has a way with words.

<3 ben

cross the patron saint of switchblade fights.....

   one more day of finals. then im done. i hope this summer will be fun..because this year hasn't been a good one.

ive gotta make a big decision. a lifechanging one. since my parents are going through with thise divorce thing, i can only live with one. id unquestionaly choose my dad. but heres the catch....my dad's moving about an hour away. that means new school, new friends, new life. i dont want that. it was hard enough starting freshman year. itll be like that all over again at a new school. i hate my mom so much,and she hates me back, but she's staying here.

if i do move....ill at least get the majority of the summer to spend with my friends. i hope.

i dunno. kinda confused about stuff right now. but i shouldnt be complaining, so many kids have it off worse.

thanks everyone for being so....nice to me.

thanks so much...its great, and i didnt even ask.

leave comments.

<3 ben

p.s. i would die without these people. the ones who have helped me out the most.....katie  and brian.....theyre always here for me...especialy now when i need them most. thanks guys. i dunno what id do without either of you. comment on them, cuz i love them and they dont get any.